


I Only Have Nightmares

by JustGotThemSharpened



Series: I'm Only A Man [2]
Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Adam is a sweetie, Aidan is a mother hen, Aidan is here for a reason, Dean is depressed, M/M, a little bit of angst, no worries tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:50:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3674649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustGotThemSharpened/pseuds/JustGotThemSharpened
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What do you mean, 'paradise'?”, the taller was frowning at Adam, who looked at him with disbelief.</p><p>“Wait, you and Dean aren't...a thing?”</p><p>“Oh my God, Adam! Of course not!” Aidan was wide eyed, clearly taken aback.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A good Mother Hen

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I thought I'd make a prequel to explain a bit what happens in "Lego House", just for the taste of it XD
> 
> Also, I have a Tumblr, name's the same.
> 
> Not beta'd. Please, let me notice any mistakes, as always.

 

“Hey, care to join me for a smoke?”Aidan asked, as usual, with his soft smile.

Adam blinked and shot a glance at Dean, who was currently talking with Graham.“Sure, why not.”the Brit replied, with a shrug.

“Nice!”The Irishman grinned at the shorter male and they left the others to find a quiet place where to talk and smoke in peace. Adam wasn't really a smoker, he liked to maintain himself healthy but he understood that Aidan was asking for a talk, just the two of them.

“Problems in paradise?”,the shorter questioned, when they were far enough from the other.

Aidan snorted before giving a reply.

“What do you mean, 'paradise'?”, the taller was frowning at Adam, who looked at him with disbelief.

“Wait, you and Dean aren't...a thing?”

“Oh my God, Adam! Of course not!” Aidan was wide eyed, clearly taken aback.

The Brit, mortified, started blabbing and making excuses but the brunet stopped him.“It's ok, Adam. We are always together and you assumed we where...engaged. I get it. Let's just...not talk about it, eh?”

Adam shot him a grateful look and cleared his throat.“So...what's the matter? I reckon you wanted to talk about something.”

Aidan took a drag from his cigarette and sighed,“Yeah, actually....there's something about Dean that's bugging me.”

Adam smiled knowingly at the taller male.“Is that so?” He asked, amusement dripping from his tone, making the brunette roll his eyes.

“You see, when we are changing in our costumes he always tries to avoid mirrors or hide his back from me...at first, I thought Dean was just shy but it's two years we're filming!”

“That's...none of my business to tell, Aidan, I'm sorry. But I'll tell you, it's a nasty affair.”The brit nodded and his expression saddened.

The Irishman flicked his fag and sighed,“Thank you anyway, I appreciate it.”

“I'm always here if you need me”, Adam smiled at him and cleared his throat, seeing Dean walking towards them, “I think I'll go now, see you on set.”

“See ya”, replied Aidan, shooting him a weird look until Dean waved at the Irish with a soft smile.

“Am I bothering you?” the blonde asked, stopping next to him.

“Of course not, Deano.” Aidan replied, a toothy smile playing on his lips.

“I was wondering....” the older male started, a little insecure.  
“What?” the Irish inquired softly.

“If maybe you'd like to stop by my trailer, a couple of beers and a match with the Xbox?”

“Sounds grand!” Aidan responded, giving a bright smile to his friend.

“Uhm, yeah.” the taller male eyed him, a bit weirded out,was the Kiwi....blushing?

“Shall we go back to the others?” the Irish said, extinguishing his cigarette underneath his heel.

Dean only nodded, suddenly quiet.

“Hey, what's wrong?” the brunet cupped his face, looking at him right in the eyes, he was sincerely worried from the Kiwi's behavior. “You're acting strange lately. Did something happen?”

The blonde shrugged, trying a smile but failing miserably. “Guess that the weariness of these days is finally catching up with me. You don't need to worry, Aidan. I'm fine.”

“Like hell I do.” Aidan replied, angered. “I don't want you to get sick or pass out on me...are you eating well? Sleeping well?”

“You're not my goddamn mom, Turner.” Dean rolled his eyes then added, “Look, if you really want to talk about it, we'll discuss it later, all right?”

“That's my boy.” the Irish smiled, reassured.


	2. I Still Believe Something Is Out There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blond didn't even had the time to blink or realize what was happening before the man he loved was on him.  
> Dean didn't scream. He didn't protect himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This work wasn't supposed to get over 2 chapter but then inspiration and plot twist happened XD
> 
> Not beta'd. Please, let me notice any mistakes, as always.
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains mentions of rape and violence, if you are triggered I suggest you don't read it.

_He couldn't hear, couldn't feel, couldn't see. It was like the world shut him out._

_Jared found him, in a catatonic state, looking at nothing, on his stomach. His back was covered in blood and cuts._

_His words were sweet nothings in his ear but he could feel the fear and panic in them, Dean just wanted to close his eyes and never wake up. Why, oh why, they didn't just allow him?_

 

-.-.-.-

 

He and Jared planned to meet on a coffee shop to catch up after months of not seeing or hearing from each other, it was nothing special, just to hang out. But _he_ didn't take it well.

He accused Dean of cheating on him.

_Am I not good enough for you?_

_Is this some kind of joke? After I gave you everything I had?_

His hand reached for the kitchen knives.

_I'm going to fucking kill him._

_I'm the only man for you, don't you get it, little whore?_

Dean blocked him and put himself between him and the door, without a word but a silent resolution.

_Oh, is that it? You're protecting him, aren't you?_

_You're such a slut, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you._

_You are nothing more than a pretty hole to fuck._

The blond didn't even had the time to blink or realize what was happening before the man he loved was on him.

Dean didn't scream. He didn't protect himself.

He let him tear his clothes, push him on his hand and knees and use his body for his pleasure.

He was well aware of the burn in his lower back and legs but it was like not being there, like he was a spectator of the whole thing.

Then his boyfriend (rapist?) left, not after leaving several injuries on his back from the knife.

Dean was alone on the floor, aching and bloody and crying.

_Slut._

The man spat, slamming the door behind him.

The blond was breathing hard, trying to calm himself down but it was worthless and at the end, he just gave up.

 

-.-.-.-

 

Jared realized that something happened when Dean didn't show up in time.

He knew that the blond wasn't one of the most punctual people but he didn't show up too late anyway.

He grabbed his phone and called him, at the fifth unanswered call he got up with his car keys and drove through the city, throwing to hell the traffic laws.

He fucking _knew_ it.

But no, he had to listen to Dean when he said that everything was alright and that he _loved_ that man.

Dean didn't know in what he was getting into, Jared did. And he even told him to be careful.

He decided to call backup while he was on his way, Emmett and Tim where the first to answer and Jared felt a little relived, even if the different worst case scenarios that were playing in his head weren't helping him at all.

The brunet gripped the steering wheel harder and slammed his foot on the gas pedal, the light was red and he almost caused an accident but he didn't care in the slightest.

Jared had to make sure Dean was safe and sound. He couldn't be dead, could he?

“Fuck!”

The curse slipped from his lips and he stopped in front of the blond's house just before he had a panic attack.

Dean was on the floor, and blood was covering his back, he was a complete mess.

“That asshole is going to pay!”

Jared kneeled in front of his friend and brushed away a blonde lock from his face, feeling the skin wet with tears.

“Deano, listen to me, I called Emmett and Tim, they're on their way. We need to get you to and hospital. I'll help you up, all right?”

The other only nodded and tried to get up, assisted by Jared, he managed to sit on a chair in his kitchen.

The brunet cleaned the blood from his back but he didn't dare to touch the cuts, instead he obliged Dean to drink some water with a pain killer, he could see the pain in the other's glazed eyes.

“Everything is going to be all right. We're here for you, you hear me?”

 

-.-.-.-

 

“Deano? Is everything all right in here? Can you open up?”

Aidan's voice snapped him to reality and he got up from the spot on his bed in his little trailer and went to the door, smiling briefly at the younger male.

“No offense but you look like shit, mate. You sure you don't want to do this another time?”

Dean shook his head and moved away to let the taller in.

“No, No. Everything's fine. Get yourself at home.”

They shared a smile and Aidan took a seat on the couch.

“I'm going to totally destroy your Kiwi ass tonight!”

Realization hit the younger him like a ton of bricks and he blushed like a schoolgirl.

“I mean, at Street Fighter.”

He quickly added, biting his lip.

“You wish.”

 


	3. I'm Used To Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The older man smiled knowingly, the brunet flushed to the tip of his ears and the blond smirked smugly once again.  
> But then Ian shoot Aidan a quick warning look and turned to the Kiwi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess what! Looks like there are more than one chapter to come!
> 
> Not beta'd. Please, let me notice any mistakes, as always.
> 
> This is a bit explicit, nothing serious, tho.

Dean glanced at his wristwatch, it was well past midnight and Aidan was curled up on him, enjoying and sharing his warmth.

He wasn't sure how they ended up like this but hey, he wasn't going to complain.

The other man had both his arms around the blond's middle and he didn't look like he was going to let go soon.

His mind was soggy and dizzy from the alcohol and from the looks of it, his co-star was in the same state.

“Ehy, Aid, you should stay here tonight.”

It came out a bit slurred but the other seemed to understand because he nodded.

“Can you get up? I'll take you to bed.”

Aidan shook his head and smiled stupidly.

“ Don't wanna. You're comfy.”

He complained, tightening his hold.

Dean couldn't help but chuckle and shifted a bit, his back was starting to ache.

“Plus, right now I've got an hard-on like you wouldn't believe.”

The blonde instantly froze on the spot but then realized that Aidan was just kidding.

“Are you mocking me? Or, well, Anders?”

The Irish lifted his head and his hand grasped Dean's wrist, shaking his head. His eyes were blown and full of lust.

“I'm dead serious.”

Aidan hand guided Dean's between his legs, pressing it on his erection. The Kiwi gasped at the contact and felt his own cock react and the touch.

“You are drunk.”

He stated, sighing.

“So? You are drunk, too.”

The Irishman replied, smiling mischievously and before Dean could start another argument he pressed his lips to the Kiwi's. Not one of the best kisses Dean ever received but tilting a bit his head and moving his mouth over Aidan's suddenly it became a whole better.

“Wait - wait, let me catch my breath!”

The brunet broke the kiss, with great disappointment from the blond.

“You know what? I'm so sick of waiting.”

Dean fisted the other's shirt and pulled him down for another kiss, the Kiwi pressed his knee on the bulge of the Irish's pants, making him groan in the kiss.

“Bedroom?”

He asked, panting on Aidan's lips, the brunet nodded and in mere seconds they were kissing through the path for the Kiwi's bedroom, clothes forgotten on the floor.

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

The alarm went off, Dean was the first one to wake up, since he usually got up early to go for a run. He yawned and disentangled himself from Aidan who was still deep in sleep. A sting of pain came through his head and he remembered last night's many beers and mostly the mind-blowing sex. The Kiwi started to get up but strong arms kept him to go any further.

“Stay.”

Aidan murmured, his hands started roaming on the skin of his back and stopped on his scars.

The Irish supported himself on his elbow and looked at the scars more closely.

“Dean...? What are these..?”

The brunet asked, he could feel the Kiwi take a shaky breath. The Irishman didn't noticed them the night before, too caught up in the pleasure.

“Gifts. From my lovely ex boyfriend.”

Dean spat with despise, they were ugly, they made him ugly. He waited for Aidan to reject him, to tell him he was disgusting and that he didn't want him.

But not a word came out from the other's lips.

Aidan started placing open-mouthed kisses on the bigger, it started from his shoulder blade and ended on the middle of his back.

The Kiwi gasped when he started nibbling at it and leaned in to the touch, while the Irishman's hands mapped his body once again.

“Aidan, stop. You don't have to. It's fine, I know they are ugly.”

He said, taking his hands and squeezing them, feeling the other squeeze back.

“That's where you are wrong. You are beautiful, that makes them beautiful, too.”

Aidan replied, hugging him from the back and sighing.

“I really like you, Dean. Don't let some dick bring you down.”

The Irishman smiled against his skin and pulled him down to bed with him, nuzzling his chest.

“'m sore from yesterday.”

The brunet mumbled, kissing his lips.

“I'm sorry...”

At his excuses, Aidan chuckled.

“For what? The most amazing sex of my life?”

 

-.-.-.-

 

When they walked in the dining hall, hand in hand, all of their colleagues smirked smugly.

“Ian is all alone...let's sit with him!”

Aidan was full of energy for being hungover but Dean couldn't deny him nothing.

“Great, let's be the gayest table in the whole room.”

The Irishman slapped him on the arm, pouting.

“Shut it, we both know you enjoyed that blowjob, Dean.”

He whispered low enough that nobody else but the blond to hear.

“Indeed, same goes for you...well, _after_.”

Dean looked smugly and Aidan rolled his eyes, drawing him to the wizard.

“Good morning.”

Ian greeted, smiling at the pair who reciprocated.

“Looks like somebody did the deed.”

The older man smiled knowingly, the brunet flushed to the tip of his ears and the blond smirked smugly once again.

But then Ian shoot Aidan a quick warning look and turned to the Kiwi.

“Dean, would you please be so kind to bring me a cuppa?”

He asked, kindly and the other blinked and got up, muttering an affirmative response.

“That boy has been through a lot, Aidan. Don't play games with him.”

The wizard scowled him, once Dean was out of hearing reach.

“What - Ian, what are you even talking about?”

Aidan replied, confused.

“You know damn well what I'm talking about.”

The other answered, smiling brightly at Dean when he came back with his cup of tea.

The Irishman frowned, watching Ian carefully and when he caught Dean's worried look he shoot him a warm smile.

 

-.-.-.-

“Deano! I was just looking for you!”

A booming voice called and Graham slinged an arm around his shoulders.

“So, since it's the last week of filming, me and the lads thought to go in a pub and grab something. You and Aidan with us?”

Dean smiled instantaneously and nodded.

“Wouldn't miss it for the world.”

He replied, laughing with the older male.

“Can you tell Aidan? I got to go inform the others!”

And with that he disappeared, the Kiwi shook his head, still smiling.

When he finally found Aidan, the other was talking at the phone, pacing back and forth.

The blond watched him proudly since the brunet was walking a bit funny, Aidan didn't take notice of his presence and continued speaking to whoever was at the other end of the receiver.

Dean started reach for him but stopped dead in his tracks and the smile died on his lips when he heard what the brunet was saying.

“Yeah, I miss you too. I'm sorry babe, I was so busy lately I didn't have time to call you. As soon as I'm back I'll take you out for dinner, how about that? I've got to go but I'll call you later. I love you.”

Aidan closed the call and turned, meeting Dean's wide and full of hurt eyes.

“You...you have a _girlfriend_?”

 

 


	4. I Can't Get By Without Your Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aidan was fucked. That night they made love...but something was missing.  
> Her body was too curvy, he missed the brush of Dean's beard on his face and body when he kissed him, he missed his dimples, his smile, his bright blue eyes. He missed Dean an awful lot.  
> The Irish started to take long breaths to calm himself down, this was utter bullshit. He broke Dean's heart, he didn't deserve to even think about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's sex in here...? Hmm, I guess so...not sure...

Aidan took a drag from his cigarette, Dublin was flooding with life even in the early hours of the morning and the Irish looked at the lights with a grim face. Six months had passed since the end of filming.

“Aidan?”

A sweet voice cut through his thoughts, Sarah was peeking from the French door, the blanket of their shared bed was covering her nude body.

“You'll catch a cold...”

She said, biting her perfect pink bottom lip, her boyfriend was acting weird since he came back.

“I know.”

He snapped, regretting it immediately, but his girlfriend didn't seem bothered, just kissed him on the cheek and got back in the warmth of the bed, probably she got the hint that he wanted to be alone.

Aidan was fucked. That night they made love...but something was missing.

Her body was too curvy, he missed the brush of Dean's beard on his face and body when he kissed him, he missed his dimples, his smile, his bright blue eyes. He missed Dean an awful lot.

The Irish started to take long breaths to calm himself down, this was utter bullshit. He broke Dean's heart, he didn't deserve to even _think_ about him.

Suddenly, he got up and got dressed, leaving Sarah asleep in bed. He needed to think, and Dublin's cheerful streets always helped.

He started pacing without a destination, just watched his legs moving and carrying him forward.

When finally the lanky man stopped walking he fetched his phone from the pocket of his jacket and started roaming through his contacts, once he found the one he was looking for he pressed the call button. It ringed for some time until the other picked up.

“Hello?”

 

-.-.-.-

 

He was in a middle of a photo shoot when his phone went off, Dean watched the name blinking on the screen and felt his blood run cold, but he couldn't let himself to ignore the call so he answered.

“Hello.”

Dean gestured to the others they had to stop and got away from the set.

“Hi, Dean.”

Aidan was trying to keep a cheerful facade but failed miserably.

“What do you want?”

The blond snapped, he was angry. _Why is he looking for me? After what he did?_

“I need to see you.”

The other blurted out and Dean snorted.

“Fuck off, Aidan. You're such an asshole.”

He spat, even if he was dying to see him too, even if he had hurt him, Dean couldn't help but love him. He couldn't deny his feelings for the Irish with the bright smile.

“Dean, _please_. I'll buy you the ticket but we need to talk.”

The Irishman begged, Dean could feel the despair in his voice.

“Oh, what a kind soul, he's going to buy me a ticket to break my heart twice times.”

Dean laughed with sarcasm and he wanted to hung up but a part of him missed the other's voice, their time together, their kisses...even Aidan's bad jokes.

“No! Please, just come here and we'll talk.”

Aidan bit his bottom lip, gripping the phone in his hand.

“Can't we just talk on the phone?”

Dean was starting to get annoyed by the Irishman insistence.

“No, it's not something we can just talk about on the phone and I wasn't lying when I said I needed to see you.”

Now Aidan was nervously chewing on his nail.

“You're so full of shit, Aidan Turner.”

Dean stated, scowling. Aidan was silent and waiting for his answer.

“I'm coming here. _To talk_.”

He made sure to make the last words clear to the Irish and he could hear the other release a breath he was keeping.

  
-.-.-.-

 

“Get comfy.”

Aidan said to the kiwi, throwing his keys on the table.

“Sarah's out with some friends of her, I think.”

He added, turning to the blond who looked really annoyed and sitting at the kitchen table.

“Ah, yes. Sarah. That lovely girl.”

The Kiwi snorted, putting his coat on the chair.

“Tell me, who do you think about when she is writhing beneath you?”

Dean whispered, leaning over his ear, Aidan felt a shiver run down his spine.

“You.”

Aidan admitted biting his bottom lip and looking up to meet the blonde's eyes.

“I figured as much.”

Dean smirked smugly and grabbed at his hair, smashing their lips together in a heated kiss.

The Irishman moaned when he felt his hair being pulled and kissed the Kiwi back eagerly, his hands roamed over his muscular chest and reached Dean's belt, he unbuckled it while the other was biting at his neck, earning gasps, sighs and moans.

Once again, Dean at pulled his hair, forcing Aidan to look at him in the eyes. The Irishman was panting, his eyes filled with lust and want.

“Who do you belong to, Aidan?”

Dean asked, his voice was husky and sensual with a hint of possession, if he wasn't already sitting, the Irishman was sure his knees would have given up.

“You. Only you. Dean, _please_.”

Aidan whimpered, before Dean pulled him up and against the wall, keeping up with his ministrations.

They had sex right here, the Irish bent on the wall, supporting himself with his hands on the surface while Dean pounded into him like there was no tomorrow, using oil for lube.

Aidan was a sputtering mess of moans, whimpers and begs and kept crying out curses, demanding 'more' 's and 'harder' 's, until he came over his belly with Dean's name on his lips.

Dean followed quickly, biting on Aidan's shoulder, muffling his cry on the olive and silky skin of his dark-haired lover.

 

-.-.-.-

 

“What now?” Aidan asked, dragging from his cigarette, he was leaning on the iron of the balcony.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked back, cocking an eyebrow.

“What about _us_ , Dean?” The Irish rolled his eyes exasperated.

“Us? I thought you wanted to deny your big gay secret...?” The blond raised his eyebrows.

“Shut your fucking mouth, Dean. You know it's not like that!” Aidan replied, angered from the other's harsh words.

“Oh, it's not like that, is it? Then why you chose Sarah over me? Don't pull this shit on me, Aidan. I was clear from the beginning about my feelings for you.” Dean growled, starting to get up.

“This was a stupid idea. Coming here, leaving my work just to see a prick like yourself.” The Kiwi muttered and started to make his way to get out but Aidan stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“For fuck's sake, will you fucking listen to me, Dean O' Gorman?”

Dean blinked stupidly and came back to his senses when he felt his back hit the wall and a pair of lips moving over his own in a passionate kiss. The kiwi responded with the same intensity and when they pulled apart, their foreheads touching and breaths laboured he looked at him a little confused.

“I love you. I was confused at first but now I'm sure, Deano. It's you. Not Sarah, you.”

Aidan smiled when the Kiwi rolled his eyes.

“Stop being a fucking woman or you'll turn into one, Jesus Christ.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end of the journey! C: I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
> This is just a prequel of the events of "Lego House" and I hope I will be back writing about these two because I love them so much XD
> 
> Thanks to whoever left kudos/comments/added this at their bookmarks or just read!


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